October 3, 2017

A golden oldie


Last night was my first nursing free night in 2 years and 5 months and the first one ever for Aaryav.  Our breastfeeding relation had been going so beautifully and my sincere intention was to continue until he decided to call it a day.  The way it was going, certainly we would have continued for another year easily. But at times fate does intervene and you are forced to take decision from the head rather than the heart.

He is a picky eater, a slim guy, yes! At 2 years 5 months he weighs only 12 kilos.  All around me pinned his puny size to breastfeeding and have been pressurizing me to stop, I have not been  too concerned and felt that he would eventually catch up in size and weight.  But the situation of his teeth were worrying me. I could see the enamel getting depleted and a few cracked teeth were a cause for alarm.  Finally, I made the dreaded visit to the dentist half ashamed that I would be judged as a careless mother.  One look and the pedodontist suggested a root canal for one of his upper incisors and a filling for 3 cavities. A root canal is definitely not something I am keen on subjecting him to at this stage.

I followed this up with a visit to the paediatrician who was more milder.  She supported my opinion of not putting him thru a traumatizing experience like the root canal just as yet and suggested an immediate weaning especially of night feeds.  And so here I am, keeping my fingers crossed that I will have the willpower to see this through.  Much earlier than I expected, I feel sad that we did not celebrate the last feed as we should have.  Even now I wonder, should I just give him another feed telling him that this is the final one in our lovely journey together?  A lovely time cuddling him and watching his little jaws move briskly satiating his hunger and comforting him.  The slowing of the rhythm while he drifts off into his sleep the only way he has known ever. I will keep my mobile away and be engrossed in him and him alone. A ceremonial goodbye to our breastfeeding days. This afternoon nap was also without feeding.  Maybe I will just give in one more time and cherish it and imprint the experience in my mind.  Come to think of it, I will not be feeding another baby again this lifetime.