No matter whether its your first,s econd or third baby, I believe that parents will be having a lot of concerns about their newborns. We too had (have) a lot of such concerns about Aarush.
1) B was initially worried about baby's squint. I convinced him that all kids have a squint as they are unable to coordinate at this age and that this would be gone by the second month or so. But it is still very much there and B is now having his doubts again.
2) Aarush is a loud sleeper. He snores a lot and after a couple of days at home, I found this really strange as the snore was quite loud and disturbing. (Its tough having 2 loud sleepers on your left especially when you have to attend demanding calls at night and do not have proper rest.) We took him to the doctor who told that he is OK adnd just has a slight congestion in his nose for which we can use saline drops. This has thankfully reduced by now.
3) Apart from the snore Aarush groans and grunts a lot in sleep. This has been worrying B no end even though the doc confirmed that it is perfectly normal for kids just the way we stretch and shuffle in sleep. However,it stops as soon as I cuddle him close. So I believe its OK.
4) Aarush had jaundice which is normal for most newborns nowadays. His eyes are still a bit yellow and we are concerned as to when it will be OK. Again Doc has said it is nothing to worry about.
5) Aarush tends to sleep with his eyes open a times. He also rolls his eyes in sleep. Sometimes I freak out seeing him sleep this way especially when only the whites of his eyes will be visible. Sometimes, he will be looking at my face intently and I will be cooing aand talking to him only to realise that he is fast alseep. I hope this is normal and thats just the way he is.
6) Aarush is on the darker side. Neither me nor B has any issues with this. Bi is also dark and I have always preferred men being on the darker side. Not that I would not have liked a fair baby but it really did not matter much to us. This was however worrying a lot of others who kept mentioning it each time they saw him. One lady even had the guts to ask me how this one became dark. Appu is fair and people have been comparing them a lot. I cannot understand this obsession people have with fairness. I can only thank god for giving me a perfectly healthy baby and not worry over the something as frivolous as colour of my baby's skin.
7) Aarush's lips were real dark almost purplish after a few days of birth. I was worried about this and wanted to whether it was caused by any of the medicines I was taking during pregnancy. I was taking Aldomet for BP and in between I was on a beta blocker (lopressor) for palpitations. I was not concerned much about the aesthetic part of it. Even in this case, one of my relatives had the nerve to me that his lips are very dark and that I should wipe them hard with my thumb after each feed. I never did this even once. The colour has changed a lot now and the last time she saw the baby she commented to my mom that I seem to have been wiping his lips regularly as the colour has changed so much so fast. I couldnt help laughing over this.
8) Aarush is a gassy baby and needs to be burped more than once during feeds. Else he possets a lot. As per docs suggestion, I burp after 10 min or so after each feed and this has reduced a lot.
9) The biggest concern however - Aarush was jittery. We never noticed this while in the hospital thought they did mention it to us and carried out the necessary tests for glucose, calcium deficiency etc. It was only pointed out to us by the doc at his first well baby visit. Ever since then, we have been worried tremendously over this. Its really scary when you see your little one shaking his hand and legs this way. The doc mentioned that since the tests came out normal, it should go on its own by the 2nd month or so. We are happy that it has reduced a lot and now we only see him shaking once in a couple of days. Its a huge relief!
September 9, 2009
First Car
Is it that all girls will have a natural affinity towards dolls and other pretend toys such as kitchen set, doctor set and that boys will be more drawn towards cars, trucks, etc? I ask this coz I have never seen my daughter even giving a second look at cars and the like. Whereas, one of our friends son has such a craze for cars that he can identify the model, make etc at a glance and from any angle. And not only new models, he can even identify the classic cars and the more flashy fancy sports models as well. We believe that very soon we will be having a lot of miniature cars roaming around in our living room and there will be a lot of vrrooommmm....vrooommmm, dishyum, dishyum, etc.
B has therefore already got a car for Aarush which might be the first one of a huge collection soon. And no usual car for Mr. Prince. Its a ravishing red beauty...a Porsche Carrera. Decide for yourself. Isnt she a stunner?
B has therefore already got a car for Aarush which might be the first one of a huge collection soon. And no usual car for Mr. Prince. Its a ravishing red beauty...a Porsche Carrera. Decide for yourself. Isnt she a stunner?
September 8, 2009
Black , white and grey.. my bond with Appu
I have been reading through a lot of mama blogs lately and I am amazed at the ease with which the majority of women seem to embrace motherhood. To be very honest, mothering never came to me naturally. There was a lot of effort from my side to develop this and Appu defintely would have been affected by this. My relation with Appu has passed through various phases.
Conceiving
I conceived Appu in January 2003 - 5 months after my marriage. We had decided that we would try for a baby after 6 months of marriage. In the fifth month, we thought we will just have a go in test mode and it clicked. We were very happy about it mostly my mom who was beginning to get bored immensely in our new house as both of us used to leave of work early in the morning and she was alone in the flat without many friends.
Pregnancy No 1
Pregnancy no. 1 was celebrated a lot and I was pampered to the hilt by mommy and B. I also missed no chance be pampered by them. I was literally carried like a precious gem on their palm. I was goaded with all kinds of nutritive food supposed to be good for the baby. Since I have always been a food lover, this was easy for me and I also used to tuck in a lot of junk food for which I had developed a super craving. Needless to say, by the 5th month I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put a low cal low sugar diet. I am guilty of not following the diet strictly. I had a huuuuggge tummy and was tired all the time. I had this horrible grey tinge and absolutely horrendous pigmentation which left me looking as worse as I could. Fortunately work was not very hectic during pregnancy.
Delivery
My due date was Oct 12th and inspite of various efforts at inducing the labour there was no success until Oct 15th. Thats when we agreed to go in for a c-secn the next day. The surgery was carried out at Zulekhs Hospital Sharjah by Doctor Shoba. Now after c-secn no.2, I can definitely say that the first one was not a good experinece at all other than the moment when my daughter was pulled out of me and I hear her throaty cry. She was the most beautiful newborn I had every seen with lovely fair skin, mop of jet black hair, pouty rrrreeeeddd lips and chubbiest rosy cheeks. She weighed a whopping 4 kg and the doc said that it would have been almost impossible for me to have delivered her. I was totally amazed that our baby could be so amazingly gorgeous. Both of us are reasonable good looking but she was way above my imagination. I remember saying "Shes sooo beautiful" and tears filling up my eyes.
Bonding or lack of it
When I was bought to the room after surgery, B was there with mommy holding the little girl proudly. Ever since then, my girl has been hers. Not that I grudge her for t but at times it has been painful. I never realised this then and I was most happy at having someone to take care of the baby as I was preoccupied by the horrible pain I was in and the yucky saggy tummy that I will never be able to get rid of. The 4 days in the hospital went by with a lot of visitors, me trying to cope with the pain, seeing my mom, B and my relatives cuddling the baby and commenting on her beauty. All during this time, my daughter was formula fed and I was not concerned about trying to feed her even once. To make things worse, I had flat nipples and no matter how much the nureses tried, the little girl would not latch on. I couldnt care less about it and I thought that I would deal with the pain first and set the breastfeeding right once we go back home. How wrong I was! During the days at the hospital, other that the first moment I saw her, I never felt any overwhelming emotion or love towards the little girl. I liked her, she was cute, she was my baby..thats it. I used to be amazed when people talked about the bond they had with their unborn babies, newborn etc. While I was pregannt, I did not feel any special bonding with the baby and I was just going with the flow. The magic did not happen even after the birth.
Breastfeeding woes
We returned home and mommy took charge over the baby completely. I was just reduced to a bystander. I did not feel bad about it at all that time and was thankful that I could get good rest. I never felt at that time that I would regret this so much later. Once home, as decided in the hospital, I tried to feed her and we were in for a huge disappointment as my daughter would scream at the breast since she could not suck. I was an am quite particular that babies should be reared on breast milk and this situation was a huge blow to me. I was sad that I could not provide my daughter with breeast milk. I knew that I could succeed if I tried and kept her at the breast through out the day. Needless to say there was a lot of wailing and howling and mom and B could not stand this. Their response was that I was simply notproding milk and hence should not bother and make the baby cry so much in hunger when formula is around. I knew they were wrong but I was a new mom, young (24 years) with absolutely no knowledge of kids. I must say mom and B were most unsupportive of breast feeding. But I was adamant and wanted my daughter to be fed on breast milk at any cost. (This ws more a matter of personal satisfaction at that time). Almost a month went by with my daughter being fed purely on formula. I was having horrible post natal depression and this was fuelled by inablinilty to breastfeed. I considered this as a personal failure and a shortfall in me the woman. I used to have terrible fights with mom during this time probably due to the fact that I was unknowingly resenting her taking over what should have been my role. B was kind of supportive during this time though but not much. After lot of surfing, I came across La Leche League. The psots gave me confidence and made me realise that I could still try and breast feed my daughter. I discoverd Medela and after a lot of product study, I decided to by Medela Pump In Style breast pump. It was quite expensive but it would definietly be worth it. I started using the pump and all I could get was a trickle of milk from my breast. Mind you, it was almost 30 days post delivery and I had not fed her a single day to her satisfaction. I held on to La Leche League and Medela as if my life depended on it. This was through constant reminders from mom and B about the money wasted and discouraging words as if my effors were useless. I was finally rewarded for my efforts and my milk supply build up slowly but steadily and I was able to offer a complete feed. By the time it was time for me to go back to work after amterntiy leave (70 days approx), my daughter was fed completely on breastmilk except for a feed of formula at night. At any given time, there would be 4-5 bottles 120 ml bottles containing breast milk in our fridge. Mom and B appreciated my efforts thoroughly and had to take back their earlier negative criticism. It was nothing more than a personal victory for me. During this time, I was too engrossed in getting this issue sorted to enjoy my daughter or to get bonded to her. I used to play with her as I would with any other cute little baby.
Baby grows
Mom used to take excellent care of the little girl and she was and still is the apple of her eye. It made my mom young again and there was so much fulfillment in her. I was never too involved in my daughters development. I used to lover her, play with her etc, but ther was no intense feelings. She too was undoutebly attached to her ammoomma. There was no much improvement in this until she started nursery. Most of the time, she would be with mom at home or at her friends' place, mom would be teaching her the nursery rhymes, alphabets, film songs, developing her social skills etc etc. She was a very smart, healty and cute baby adored by all in our aprtment building. She turned over at 4 months, teethed at an early 5 months, started talking early, walking at 11 months. She knew her alphabets well (English and Malayalam), a lot of old film songs, had a lot of friends and admirers. Mom and her were inseparable and still are. All our shopping, outing etc were done alone and all our friends used to say that we are lucky since we could roam around like newly married couples inspite of having a baby. I never felt anything was amiss here. I always was happy as I knew she was being well cared for by my mother much better than I could ever manage and that she was not losing out on anything.
Discovering Mother and Daughter Love
We decided to put her in a playschoiol when she was 2 and a half and I started looking around for a good place. This was one of the first things I struggled to do for her. Went to a lot of places and finally found Little Feet Nursery. (This nursery has played an important role in moulding my daughter and I would recommend this place to all). Me and my little girl started becoming close from here on as we used to sing the rhymes, songs etc together, I used to work hard at dressing her up for the weekly fancy dress, etc. We used to have story telling, reading sessions and we both started becoming close for the first time. I fell in love with her at this stage and from then on she became Appu for me. No one else calls her Appu other than me. Though she still needed mom for security and her daily routine, she became close to me as well. This got better and better with each passing day. In gthe meantime she was grwoing fast. She was put in DPS and was enjoying KG. I was enjoying her developments. Slowly she started sleeping in our room and even allowed me to do her bathe her, dress her up for school etc. I was enjoying this mothering and that is when I realised what I had missed. However, instead of crying over spilt milk I decided to make the best of each day. By now I was absolutely besotted by my daughter. I was strict with her and was the disciplinarian at home, however she was reasonable and somehow even admired me at time I guess.
Pregnancy No 2 - Receiving time
There was a reversal of roles during my second pregnancy. Appu was the one who was pampering me and making me feel special. She was very happy about the baby coming soon and used to avoid any tantrums that she knew would upset me. She was an angel I was proud of having such a sensible and caring daughter.
A U turn??
After Aarush's birth there has been a lot of changes in our relation - negative changes I should say. I will detail this out in another post. I blame it for my insensitivty to a little girl's insecurity. I need to make amends soon before things get worse. I do not want these new changes to be stamped in her mind and want to go back to our earlier caring loving days. I think I should be appreciating her for the lovely elder sis that she is so far and the love that she has for Aarush instead of picking on her at all times. I shoudl still see her as a small child and take out from my mind that she is the big one now. After all, how much can my little girl grow in 40 days. She is still a small one and I need to treat her so. My apologies once again Appu for being so insensitive towards you. Its a phase and will end soon. My little princess you will always be.
Conceiving
I conceived Appu in January 2003 - 5 months after my marriage. We had decided that we would try for a baby after 6 months of marriage. In the fifth month, we thought we will just have a go in test mode and it clicked. We were very happy about it mostly my mom who was beginning to get bored immensely in our new house as both of us used to leave of work early in the morning and she was alone in the flat without many friends.
Pregnancy No 1
Pregnancy no. 1 was celebrated a lot and I was pampered to the hilt by mommy and B. I also missed no chance be pampered by them. I was literally carried like a precious gem on their palm. I was goaded with all kinds of nutritive food supposed to be good for the baby. Since I have always been a food lover, this was easy for me and I also used to tuck in a lot of junk food for which I had developed a super craving. Needless to say, by the 5th month I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put a low cal low sugar diet. I am guilty of not following the diet strictly. I had a huuuuggge tummy and was tired all the time. I had this horrible grey tinge and absolutely horrendous pigmentation which left me looking as worse as I could. Fortunately work was not very hectic during pregnancy.
Delivery
My due date was Oct 12th and inspite of various efforts at inducing the labour there was no success until Oct 15th. Thats when we agreed to go in for a c-secn the next day. The surgery was carried out at Zulekhs Hospital Sharjah by Doctor Shoba. Now after c-secn no.2, I can definitely say that the first one was not a good experinece at all other than the moment when my daughter was pulled out of me and I hear her throaty cry. She was the most beautiful newborn I had every seen with lovely fair skin, mop of jet black hair, pouty rrrreeeeddd lips and chubbiest rosy cheeks. She weighed a whopping 4 kg and the doc said that it would have been almost impossible for me to have delivered her. I was totally amazed that our baby could be so amazingly gorgeous. Both of us are reasonable good looking but she was way above my imagination. I remember saying "Shes sooo beautiful" and tears filling up my eyes.
Bonding or lack of it
When I was bought to the room after surgery, B was there with mommy holding the little girl proudly. Ever since then, my girl has been hers. Not that I grudge her for t but at times it has been painful. I never realised this then and I was most happy at having someone to take care of the baby as I was preoccupied by the horrible pain I was in and the yucky saggy tummy that I will never be able to get rid of. The 4 days in the hospital went by with a lot of visitors, me trying to cope with the pain, seeing my mom, B and my relatives cuddling the baby and commenting on her beauty. All during this time, my daughter was formula fed and I was not concerned about trying to feed her even once. To make things worse, I had flat nipples and no matter how much the nureses tried, the little girl would not latch on. I couldnt care less about it and I thought that I would deal with the pain first and set the breastfeeding right once we go back home. How wrong I was! During the days at the hospital, other that the first moment I saw her, I never felt any overwhelming emotion or love towards the little girl. I liked her, she was cute, she was my baby..thats it. I used to be amazed when people talked about the bond they had with their unborn babies, newborn etc. While I was pregannt, I did not feel any special bonding with the baby and I was just going with the flow. The magic did not happen even after the birth.
Breastfeeding woes
We returned home and mommy took charge over the baby completely. I was just reduced to a bystander. I did not feel bad about it at all that time and was thankful that I could get good rest. I never felt at that time that I would regret this so much later. Once home, as decided in the hospital, I tried to feed her and we were in for a huge disappointment as my daughter would scream at the breast since she could not suck. I was an am quite particular that babies should be reared on breast milk and this situation was a huge blow to me. I was sad that I could not provide my daughter with breeast milk. I knew that I could succeed if I tried and kept her at the breast through out the day. Needless to say there was a lot of wailing and howling and mom and B could not stand this. Their response was that I was simply notproding milk and hence should not bother and make the baby cry so much in hunger when formula is around. I knew they were wrong but I was a new mom, young (24 years) with absolutely no knowledge of kids. I must say mom and B were most unsupportive of breast feeding. But I was adamant and wanted my daughter to be fed on breast milk at any cost. (This ws more a matter of personal satisfaction at that time). Almost a month went by with my daughter being fed purely on formula. I was having horrible post natal depression and this was fuelled by inablinilty to breastfeed. I considered this as a personal failure and a shortfall in me the woman. I used to have terrible fights with mom during this time probably due to the fact that I was unknowingly resenting her taking over what should have been my role. B was kind of supportive during this time though but not much. After lot of surfing, I came across La Leche League. The psots gave me confidence and made me realise that I could still try and breast feed my daughter. I discoverd Medela and after a lot of product study, I decided to by Medela Pump In Style breast pump. It was quite expensive but it would definietly be worth it. I started using the pump and all I could get was a trickle of milk from my breast. Mind you, it was almost 30 days post delivery and I had not fed her a single day to her satisfaction. I held on to La Leche League and Medela as if my life depended on it. This was through constant reminders from mom and B about the money wasted and discouraging words as if my effors were useless. I was finally rewarded for my efforts and my milk supply build up slowly but steadily and I was able to offer a complete feed. By the time it was time for me to go back to work after amterntiy leave (70 days approx), my daughter was fed completely on breastmilk except for a feed of formula at night. At any given time, there would be 4-5 bottles 120 ml bottles containing breast milk in our fridge. Mom and B appreciated my efforts thoroughly and had to take back their earlier negative criticism. It was nothing more than a personal victory for me. During this time, I was too engrossed in getting this issue sorted to enjoy my daughter or to get bonded to her. I used to play with her as I would with any other cute little baby.
Baby grows
Mom used to take excellent care of the little girl and she was and still is the apple of her eye. It made my mom young again and there was so much fulfillment in her. I was never too involved in my daughters development. I used to lover her, play with her etc, but ther was no intense feelings. She too was undoutebly attached to her ammoomma. There was no much improvement in this until she started nursery. Most of the time, she would be with mom at home or at her friends' place, mom would be teaching her the nursery rhymes, alphabets, film songs, developing her social skills etc etc. She was a very smart, healty and cute baby adored by all in our aprtment building. She turned over at 4 months, teethed at an early 5 months, started talking early, walking at 11 months. She knew her alphabets well (English and Malayalam), a lot of old film songs, had a lot of friends and admirers. Mom and her were inseparable and still are. All our shopping, outing etc were done alone and all our friends used to say that we are lucky since we could roam around like newly married couples inspite of having a baby. I never felt anything was amiss here. I always was happy as I knew she was being well cared for by my mother much better than I could ever manage and that she was not losing out on anything.
Discovering Mother and Daughter Love
We decided to put her in a playschoiol when she was 2 and a half and I started looking around for a good place. This was one of the first things I struggled to do for her. Went to a lot of places and finally found Little Feet Nursery. (This nursery has played an important role in moulding my daughter and I would recommend this place to all). Me and my little girl started becoming close from here on as we used to sing the rhymes, songs etc together, I used to work hard at dressing her up for the weekly fancy dress, etc. We used to have story telling, reading sessions and we both started becoming close for the first time. I fell in love with her at this stage and from then on she became Appu for me. No one else calls her Appu other than me. Though she still needed mom for security and her daily routine, she became close to me as well. This got better and better with each passing day. In gthe meantime she was grwoing fast. She was put in DPS and was enjoying KG. I was enjoying her developments. Slowly she started sleeping in our room and even allowed me to do her bathe her, dress her up for school etc. I was enjoying this mothering and that is when I realised what I had missed. However, instead of crying over spilt milk I decided to make the best of each day. By now I was absolutely besotted by my daughter. I was strict with her and was the disciplinarian at home, however she was reasonable and somehow even admired me at time I guess.
Pregnancy No 2 - Receiving time
There was a reversal of roles during my second pregnancy. Appu was the one who was pampering me and making me feel special. She was very happy about the baby coming soon and used to avoid any tantrums that she knew would upset me. She was an angel I was proud of having such a sensible and caring daughter.
A U turn??
After Aarush's birth there has been a lot of changes in our relation - negative changes I should say. I will detail this out in another post. I blame it for my insensitivty to a little girl's insecurity. I need to make amends soon before things get worse. I do not want these new changes to be stamped in her mind and want to go back to our earlier caring loving days. I think I should be appreciating her for the lovely elder sis that she is so far and the love that she has for Aarush instead of picking on her at all times. I shoudl still see her as a small child and take out from my mind that she is the big one now. After all, how much can my little girl grow in 40 days. She is still a small one and I need to treat her so. My apologies once again Appu for being so insensitive towards you. Its a phase and will end soon. My little princess you will always be.
September 7, 2009
Newly found pleasures
One of the things that I enjoy doing immensely nowadays -
Aarush has the habit of grunting and groaning a lot in his sleep especially at night. At this time, I would ususally be sitting with the laptop and catching up on the emails, blogging etc. Each time I hear this groaning / grunting, I rush to him and scoop him up in my arms and nestle him close to me. It is so fulfilling - my eyes well up with tears, I literally feel the exhilarating heaviness of affection.
Aarush has the habit of grunting and groaning a lot in his sleep especially at night. At this time, I would ususally be sitting with the laptop and catching up on the emails, blogging etc. Each time I hear this groaning / grunting, I rush to him and scoop him up in my arms and nestle him close to me. It is so fulfilling - my eyes well up with tears, I literally feel the exhilarating heaviness of affection.
September 5, 2009
6 weeks
Aarush is 6 weeks young and oh my god..he has suddenly turned into a insatiably hungry little worm. He has been such a good boy all this while taking his feed without any fuss and all of a sudden since last 2 days he has been screaming, groaning and grunting at my breast after about 10 min of sucking. I checked on the internet and got to know that babies go thro' a growth spurt at 6 weeks and they can be quite fussy and hungry all the time and that it should thankfully pass in a few days. I had just bought the formula as suggested by the doctor as I would be starting office in 3 weeks (shucks....I hate to think of it), and wanted to introduce him to the bottle slowly. I have decided to delay it for a while.
Aarush's lastest discovery are his hands and he loves playing with them. He has also started cooing once in a while. He has unhappily decided to accomodate being laid down to play on his own on his activity mat too. There are also a huge load of varied cute expressions which I hope to capture shortly - puckered lips, raised questioning eyebrows, wide opened eyes. He has also started following me around wih his eyes. I love the expression (dont know if my imagination has cooked this up) when he sees me enter the room he is in. He is really adorable darling and I love him more eah moment.
The little big sis also has been acting up pretty well these days and by the way things are now it looks like Aarush is going to have 2 women doting over him at home (Touch wood!)
Aarush's lastest discovery are his hands and he loves playing with them. He has also started cooing once in a while. He has unhappily decided to accomodate being laid down to play on his own on his activity mat too. There are also a huge load of varied cute expressions which I hope to capture shortly - puckered lips, raised questioning eyebrows, wide opened eyes. He has also started following me around wih his eyes. I love the expression (dont know if my imagination has cooked this up) when he sees me enter the room he is in. He is really adorable darling and I love him more eah moment.
The little big sis also has been acting up pretty well these days and by the way things are now it looks like Aarush is going to have 2 women doting over him at home (Touch wood!)
August 31, 2009
Moments of happiness
Thank you Aarush for gifting me so many moments of happiness and pride already. Just jotting down a few. I will be updating this list as and when my baby rewards me.
1) His tiny fist closed around my forefinger when I put it in his palms making me realise the trust he had in me.
2) He gazes into my eyes when I talk to him after our early morning feeding ritual.
3) I see his steady weight gain and feel pride in the fact that he is sustained purely by my breastmilk.
4) If he is in need of a nap as he finishes his feed, he substitues my breast as a warm cosy pillow and rests his head on it with so much authority.
1) His tiny fist closed around my forefinger when I put it in his palms making me realise the trust he had in me.
2) He gazes into my eyes when I talk to him after our early morning feeding ritual.
3) I see his steady weight gain and feel pride in the fact that he is sustained purely by my breastmilk.
4) If he is in need of a nap as he finishes his feed, he substitues my breast as a warm cosy pillow and rests his head on it with so much authority.
Sorry my little princess
Appu, Amma owes a lot of apologies to you. Amma wants you to know that no matter what, Amma loves you deeply and you will forever be my prettiest princess.
Amma is sorry for taking out my post natal irritations on you. You are the most easiest target around and though I know this is really mean, Amma cannot control it at times. Amma knows that you love me a lot and that you love Aarush baby a lot as well. Amma knows that it is not very easy for you to have another person in the house eating up the attention that would have been lavished on you earlier. Amma knows that still you are trying very hard to be the sweetest sister. But at times, things get crazy for Amma and I punish you unnecessarily and too harshly. Amma still loves you a lot. And though Amma is not spending time with you earlier, playing pretend games, telling stories etc, Amma wants you to knpow that you are very very special and will always be there for you. And very soon, we will restart all the little things that you loved doing - monthly visits to Baskin Robbins, Saturdays with Funday, going for movies, playing doctor doctor, playing "Rock, paper, pencil, scissors", telling made up bedtime stories, everything. You are growing so fast also that at times I worry whether you will enjoy these things as much now!
Amma is sorry for taking out my post natal irritations on you. You are the most easiest target around and though I know this is really mean, Amma cannot control it at times. Amma knows that you love me a lot and that you love Aarush baby a lot as well. Amma knows that it is not very easy for you to have another person in the house eating up the attention that would have been lavished on you earlier. Amma knows that still you are trying very hard to be the sweetest sister. But at times, things get crazy for Amma and I punish you unnecessarily and too harshly. Amma still loves you a lot. And though Amma is not spending time with you earlier, playing pretend games, telling stories etc, Amma wants you to knpow that you are very very special and will always be there for you. And very soon, we will restart all the little things that you loved doing - monthly visits to Baskin Robbins, Saturdays with Funday, going for movies, playing doctor doctor, playing "Rock, paper, pencil, scissors", telling made up bedtime stories, everything. You are growing so fast also that at times I worry whether you will enjoy these things as much now!
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